The Best Kept Secret Blog - Midlife Men

When I was a teenager, I babysat for a family with four children. One night as the wife was driving me home, she gave me some advice I've never forgotten.

"The secret to making your husband happy is to cook for him and keep him satisfied in bed."

At the time I was shocked. After all, it was the 1970's. Women had been burning their bras for a couple of years and her advice wasn't sitting well with my inner feminist.

But as the years have gone by and I consider my experiences and those of my friends, I think she was on to something.

If men were pets, middle-aged men would be the easiest kind to keep - like goldfish.

In addition to sex and food, my friends and I have found a few additional tricks that work well when it comes to keeping your mid-life man happy.

1. Let him hold a remote - even if he's not watching t.v. For some reason, this seems to soothe them.
   
2. Use the La-Z-Boy Technique when you want things done.
   
   Let's say you want, oh I don't know, the entire first floor gutted and redone. Instead of asking him directly, start by telling him about the beautiful La-Z-Boy recliner you saw recently.
   
   Next, you build on that base. Mention that it's too bad that there's no big screen t.v. to go with the chair. Then slowly begin to describe your vision of the built in book shelves that would be perfect for the t.v. Casually mention that once the book shelves are done, you'll have to repaint.
   
   You get the picture - just keep building on the vision until you're booking the contractor.
   
   One caveat - never actually let him buy the La-Z-Boy. What would you do next time?
   
3. When you want a little down time, start talking about menopause.
   
   Here's a situation we all deal with from time to time. Occasionally, inexplicably, husbands will be in a chatty mood when we've just gotten the kids to bed, the dishes done and we're settling down to read our book.
   
   You could be direct and just tell him you don't feel like talking but this can cause strife. For some reason, they think it's okay to tune us out but not the other way around.
   
   So instead, you start talking about menopause. Your menopause, your friend's menopause - it doesn't matter. Guaranteed you'll be flipping pages in no time.
   
   One woman I know finds this technique to be so effective that she and her sister-in-laws use it at family gatherings to get the men doing the dishes.

I could go on and on - really. But, I'll sum it all up with this nugget. Be kind to your midlife man and he'll be kind to you.