The Best Kept Secret Blog - You Say Breast Augmentation, I Say Krab

While flipping through a women's fashion magazine recently, an article on microdermabrasion caught my eye. This procedure to remove the dead, outer surface of the skin has become quite popular of late and apparently you can spend anywhere from $20 at the drugstore to over $600 at the spa to have it done.

Now, I'm the first to admit that I don't know all the ins and outs of the latest cosmetic procedures but it seems to me that this particular one has been around the block once or twice already. When I was younger, we used baking soda and called it a scrub.

The whole thing kind of got my ire up. It seems to me that all sorts of things are being renamed, repackaged and re-presented to us women at twice the cost.

Not unlike the "theatre of war" and "friendly fire" rhetoric from the Gulf War, these new phrases are resulting in us being hoodwinked.

Here are some more examples. . . .

You Say Spanx, I Say Girdle

For those you who haven't encountered them, Spanx Shapewear, when worn under your clothes, promise to slim and to smooth.

For those of you who have encountered them, wiggling into one of these puppies is enough to put a sweat on your brow and make your mother's Playtex seem like maternity clothes by comparison.

You Say Cosmeceuticals, I Say Lunch
Cosmeceuticals are moisturizers and creams that are purported to have drug-like benefits. The secret ingredients in these lotions include vitamins, herbs, and various botanical extracts including green tea, soy, pomegranate and dates.

Now I'm confused. Do I apply it to my skin or eat it?

You Say Anti-Age, I Say Pro-Youth
I have no problem with women wanting to look their best at every stage of their life but do we have to call it "anti-aging"?

The very term implies we only appreciate all things young. Enough said.

You Say Breast Augmentation, I Say Krab
The last word goes to a friend of mine, a divorced man in his mid 40's. When I asked him what his thoughts were on cosmetic enhancement, he immediately thought I was referring to breast implants. Go figure.

That aside, he used a restaurant analogy in his response. It seems to him that a woman who has her breasts enlarged so as you'd notice, is basically saying that she is a volume business (no pun intended); an 'all you can eat' buffet, rather than fine dining.

He admits that many men have gone through a time in their lives when 'all you can eat' was the way to go. Its great at first, but after a while you notice that you are getting 'Krab', instead of crab, and you wake up the morning after gravy-stained and feeling horrible.