The Best Kept Secret Blog - Marriage Missives From My Manicurist

In one last nod to summer sandal season, I treated myself to a pedicure this week. In the middle of the procedure, my aesthetician had a hot flash. While she took a little break to cool down, we got talking and the topic turned to marriage.

A woman in her 50's and into her second marriage, she had an interesting take on what makes marriages fall apart and what might keep them together.

S. knows that after the initial passion fades and after living with the same person for so many years, things can get a little same-old, same-old. She's seen more than one of her women friends develop a wandering eye when things begin to get boring.

And some of these women, she tells me, have gone even further than looking and have begun having affairs. What strikes her is that these affairs aren't just about trying to capture passion and excitement. A lot of the time, she thinks, it's about doing something "wrong" - that the women are getting off on the excitement of doing something "illicit".

Sadly, she's known more than one friend who has taken their affair to the next level and ended a marriage to be with the other man.

While that in itself may not be bad, the sad part has come when "She left boring Bob who snored, left the toilet seat up and spent Saturday night watching hockey for exciting Enrico. Only to grow out of her excited state a year or so later to notice Enrico plucking nose hairs and passing gas." The man had changed, the situation had not.

Now, she did have a view on what might be a better fix to the boredom that occasionally rears its head in most marriages.

She suggests that these husbands and wives separate for a while. If the grass is always greener on the other side, maybe spending a few weeks or months over there will make things start to look pretty good back where they came from.

I'm not sure if I agree with her or not but I'm certainly mulling it over while I wait for my polish to dry. How about you? Any thoughts?