The Best Kept Secret Blog - Things My Husband Told Me On Our Anniversay

Yesterday, my husband and I celebrated our 20th anniversary.

Feeling pleasantly chummy and mildly looped as we shared a bottle of wine, our conversation meandered through our days together so far and climbed into "What next?"

Of the many things we discussed, three threads stand out.

He said, "You only get one shot."

Translation: You make choices when you're young - about a partner, about a career, about how to live your life - and they had better be good choices. They had better be right. Because you only get one shot.

I don't agree.

I think you get two shots. How many women (and men) do I know who are starting over at this stage of life? Who are divorcing or remarrying? Who are becoming parents for the first time? Who are starting a business or changing careers?

Now is the time for the second shot. And I like to believe, Pollyanna that I am, that this time, we will get it right. Because we know better. Because we've been around the block a few times.

And if we do screw up, so be it. We'll go into it understanding there is risk but knowing we're better for trying.

He said, "You look good for your age."

Translation: Ahhh, the age thing. I look good for an almost 46 year old woman but not simply "good".

"But no", he clarified. "You look good for someone who's lived these years. You're not supposed to look like a 20 or 30 year old. You look good for who you are now." (Clever man!)

He said, "You look better now than you did when you were younger."

Translation: Husband has left his glasses at home again.

But wait! As I wash my hands later in the Ladies Room, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and darn, I do look good.

Oh sure, it may be the Merlot, but I like the way I look.

All the "life" that happened in the last 20 years has made me look interesting in a way that I never could have when we were starting out. And I've got to tell you, I wouldn't trade places with that young bride for anything. As far as I'm concerned, this is the best place to be.