The Best Kept Secret Blog - Age InAppropriate

My friends C. and E. were in town this weekend, visiting from Vancouver and Edmonton respectively. Each year the three of us get together for a weekend of talking, eating, wine drinking and of course, every one's favourite, shopping.

Despite being in our late 40s and early 50s, apart from the occasional break to accommodate someones hot flash, we didn't skip a beat. We had the shopping stamina of three 18-year-olds let loose with their dad's credit cards.

I'm always a little astounded by how different our styles are.

C. is the cool, sophisticated one in the group. If I had to liken us to a latter day Sex In The City ensemble (we'd be more like Eat Chocolate, Read Magazines in the City), C. would be Miranda.

E. is a cross between Carrie and Samantha. Tall, sexy and embracing fashion fun.

And me, I'm the Charlotte in the group - usually proper but sometimes just a little naughty. (That is if you define eating popcorn and drinking white wine for dinner when the rest of the family is away as being naughty.)

Anyhow, there we were at the new Winners store on Front street, piling clothes in our cart with abandon, when I had a dawning realization that we had a huge variety of stuff. We had everything from power suits to animal prints in there. Red high heels to gray fleece hoodies. Short skirts and long.

What was remarkable was that there was no uniform here. No, "This is what people like 'us' wear." No, "Am I too old for this?". No age appropriate. We just chose what we liked.

Now, because of the work I do I continually find myself grappling with the question, "What is age appropriate?"

I must confess that when I met a 40-something woman at a dinner this summer who was wearing a short skirt, tight top and sky high heels, it crossed my mind that her attire wasn't age appropriate.

But when I occasionally pick up In-Style magazine and they show a particular garment three ways - one way for women in their 20s, one way for women in their 30s and one way for women in their 40s and beyond, I'm often disappointed by the one supposedly for my age group. It just doesn't look like me.

My retail excursion this weekend ended up being an epiphany of sorts for me.

What is age appropriate? I don't know but I think I'm getting a better handle on what is age inappropriate.

It's inappropriate to think you have to dress or do your make-up a certain way just because you're middle-aged.

It's inappropriate to let friends, family, and marketers tell you what's right for you.

It's inappropriate to not embrace your fun-loving, or sexy, or kooky and quirky style because women our age aren't supposed to.

And it's inappropriate to feel like you have to act in a certain way just because you're at this stage of life.

The whole experience made me think of a phrase that came to mind the day I turned 40. "I'm 40 years old, darn it, and I'm old enough to do what I want."

Viva middle-age!