The Best Kept Secret Blog - The Audition Party Guest List

The last time I auditioned for a play was my grade three Christmas pageant when I tried out for the part of Mrs. Claus. I knew I'd have to do something special to stand out so I sewed a red pom pom to one of my mom's doilies and wore it as a hat. It did the trick - I got the part.

I'm thinking of trying out for a play again. This time it's the the Dove play that will feature 12 "real women" all over the age of 45. Nine women have been cast so far and the search is on for the remaining three.

There will be no lines to memorize, teachers to impress or doilies to sew this time around. All that's required is for me to write and submit a "Dear Body" letter to the good folks at Dove.

To help me in my task, Dove is encouraging me to host an audition party where me and my friends gather round and speak candidly about our bodies. The closest I've ever come to an experience like this was twelve years ago when several of us had too much to drink at a bridal shower and began spilling our guts about what our favourite body part was.

Being the keener that I am, I've decided to take Dove up on their challenge and host a party. The first thing I need to do is round up some friends. Hmmm. . . who to invite.

My friend H. is a real party girl but I know what she'll write even before the party begins. Ever since she found that new push-up bra, she's been fixated on her breasts. "Dear Body, Don't we look good in these low cut tops. Cleavage rocks!"

N. and L., always supportive, will surely come if I ask them. N.'s been working out for several months and looks great. Her Dear Body letter will probably be an ode to her biceps and her personal trainer, both worthy of applause.

Y. is a dear friend but if I have to hear her childbirth story one more time I think I will scream. "Dear Body, Who knew you could birth a child as big as a large watermelon. You're amazing." Haven't we all felt like we were passing watermelons when we delivered our children? Tell me something I don't know.

E.'s been struggling with perimenopause related hot flashes for years. "Dear Body, You're hot. And that's not good. Stop it!"

As for me, I'm not sure what I'm going to say. I may use some of the audition cards from Dove to get my creative juices flowing. Questions like, "If a fairy princess could grant you 3 body wishes, what would they be?" and "If your underpants could talk, what would they say about you?" can really get you on a roll.

Whatever I do say, I know that it's got to be good. Red pom poms sewn on a doily just aren't going to cut it this time.