The Best Kept Secret Blog - Pass the Oil of Olay Please

A Christmas gathering. Reasonable wine, homemade Hors d'oeuvres, and talk of holiday plans, Conservatives versus the Liberals and the couple on the corner who never shovel their walk. An ordinary Canadian slice of life.

I saddle up to a group of party goers, idly wondering how much damage one more shortbread could do to my hips. Catching the finish of one of the woman's sentence I hear, ".....I'm 42."

There is an instant murmur. "No way." "You don't look 42." "I thought you were in your 30s."

Another neighbour gleefully adds his two cents, telling the group, "I'm 39. I must be the youngest here."

Then, almost as if rehearsed, they all turn to me and someone asks, "How old are you Karen?"

Now, I used to like that question. And on that night, I still was naive enough to think it was a good question for me.

"I'm 46," I announce and prepare to bask in my own chorus of murmured exclamations. But there are no murmurs. The most I hear are three of the women starting a discussion about the guacamole. As my eyes scan the small crowd, all I see are polite smiles and nods.

I've reached the point where I look like my age.

"Keep them guessing, with Oil of Olay" went a jingle from my youth. I think I need a bucket.

There comes a point in a woman's life when she looks her age - her middle-age. And that point is 45.

The 40th birthday seems like such a milestone and everyone gets giddy. Women look in the mirror and say, "Darn I look good for 40." Everyone concurs. And they do look good. Things don't change suddenly just because the clock struck midnight.

But changes are starting. The metabolism slows, the wrinkles emerge, the skin starts to sag. Little by little it happens until one day, you're 45 and people would rather talk about mashed avocado than how great you look.

There are a variety of options for dealing with this dilemma.

Denial - Buy the highest heels, shortest skirt or tightest top you can find and flaunt what you've got. People may talk about you behind your back but at least you'll have some new clothes.

Medical Model - Get thee to a dermatologist and pharmacist. Freeze, fill, exfoliate like a woman possessed. Not necessarily bad unless, of course, you're deluding yourself into thinking you'll now rival Angelina Jolie.

Embrace The Granny - Wear no make-up, trim your own bangs and wear pleated jeans that taper at the ankle. Looking one's best is highly overrated.

Redefine - After a suitable period of grieving for your youth, be the best you are now, whatever that means to you.

Personally, I'm working on the Redefine but I am thinking of adding a couple of other techniques. Hanging out with elderly people is one. Oh, and if anyone knows where I can get a deal on Oil of Olay, please e-mail me.