The Best Kept Secret Blog - The Hypothetical Reasonable Woman
By far the most useful class during my years at university was a business law course offered in my final term. It was there that I met the hypothetical reasonable man.
A bit of legal fiction, the "reasonable man" represents what a reasonable person would do under a particular set of circumstances.
Though originally intended for crimes and misdemeanors, the reasonable man so captured my imagination that I began applying the construct to my young-adult life as the hypothetical reasonable man morphed into the hypothetical reasonable woman.
Sometimes the hypothetical reasonable woman wins out - "The hypothetical reasonable woman wouldn't agonize over whether to buy the black pair or the silver pair of sexy, strappy sandals. They're on sale. She'd buy both."
but sometimes I give in to my baser self - "What would the hypothetical reasonable woman do? Eat a healthy salad for dinner and get a good night's sleep or tuck into the McSingle Woman's Happy Meal (popcorn and Chardonnay) and watch Sex And The City reruns until the bottle runs out? No contest there. Pass the clicker and find the cork screw."
As the years have gone by I've come to rely on the hypothetical reasonable woman whenever I don't know what to do. She's become particularly indispensable in my 40s when I sometimes question my behaviour. Is it proper or perimenopause?
Situation: Comment to husband that favourite black pants must have shrunk at cleaners. Husband responds - "Or maybe you've put on a couple of pounds."
Hypothetical Reasonable Woman: Ponder possibility that perhaps husband is right, make a
healthy dinner for the family and resolve to get back to the gym.
Blatantly Insecure Perimenopausal Woman: Fire back snappy reply "Look who's talking, donut boy", run to bathroom and spend next fifteen minutes alternately weighing self and observing self in mirror while sucking in stomach.
Recently, I've even added a new level of moral rectitude. Now when a questionable situation arises, I go that extra mile and ask myself, "What would Oprah do?"
Putting myself in Oprah's stilettos for a few minutes, I'd guess that if Steadman ever suggested the lovely Ms. Winfrey were packing on the pounds, she'd be hauling him in for relationship counselling with Dr. Phil faster than you can say, "The Secret". She'd begin a diet journal and invite like-minded endomorphs to come on the show and share in her journey.
The hypothetical reasonable woman model (or, if you've feeling particularly virtuous - step it up to What Would Oprah Do?) can be applied to all sorts of midlife situations.
My recently divorced friend, H. who is back on the dating scene after twenty-odd years uses it all of the time.
Situation: Join new computer dating community and post picture and profile.
Hypothetical Reasonable Woman: Get hair done, put make up on and hope for the best. Write witty, funny and truthful synopsis of self. Be open to all suitors - you never know what form your prince charming will take.
Blatantly Insecure Perimenopausal Woman: Select picture from seven years ago before gravity reared its ugly head. Lie about age in hopes of attracting younger, and in her opinion, sexier men.
What Would Oprah Do: Make plea to the universe that the right man comes her way. Call in army of "friends" for marathon session of health and beauty makeover.
While at times she seems a little bland, the Hypothetical Reasonable Woman is a friend indeed at those times when you just don't know which path to take. She's a kind of decision-making auto-pilot when we just can't see the forest for the trees.
And remember you don't have to follow her directions every time. For those situations when you're absolutely clear on how to proceed, helloooo Blatantly Insecure Perimenopausal Woman!
