The Best Kept Secret Blog - Grumpy Old Women
Everyone has at least one defining characteristic - a certain something that makes them stand out in the crowd.
My friend S. is the flighty one, always a dreamer. Y. can be counted on to come to the aid of a friend, no matter the circumstances or time of day or night. And J. is widely admired for her cool and logical approach to any problem that comes her way.
My je ne sais quoi, I've always felt, is a a remarkable sense of innocence and naivete that, try as I might, I just can't seem to overcome.
I first noticed it in high school. While the other girls were smoking, drinking and partying their weekends away, I was spending my Friday nights hanging out with the church youth group. A wild night for me was sitting around Dennys, drinking bottomless cups of coffee with my church friends and going home jazzed on caffeine.
I got a little more savvy during my university days but my overly trusting ways continued to be a problem, often leading to more than one date with men who tried to take advantage of me. And not even in the good ways. (Most memorable was the fellow who promised me a movie then ended up taking me to an Amway recruitment meeting.)
Frustrated but not knowing what else to do, I accepted my fate and continued to live my life in a world where I believed everyone was well intentioned and good things came my way.
So imagine my surprise last week when, after listening to my daughter recount a newspaper article describing a poor, unemployed mother pleading for help after being defrauded out of her rent money, the words, "She's probably lying" popped out of my mouth.
"How can you say that mom?" my daughter demanded.
How indeed, I wondered. Was I becoming cynical?
Not two days later, I was paying for a bag of milk at the local 7-Eleven when I noticed a tabloid near the cash register displaying an attractive young woman below the headline, "Megan Fox - The Sexist Woman Alive"
Rather than feeling jealous, averting my gaze or thinking how degrading stuff like this is to women, I found myself rolling my eyes heavenward and thinking, "Enjoy it now honey. You've got ten years max until you start to wrinkle like a prune and your assets head south."
As I pondered my reaction, I realized with a little shock that I've traversed the spectrum from naivete to cynicism. Is this the stuff of middle age?
I considered my friends.
T. is convinced that everyone's husband is having an affair. N. can talk for hours about how her boss is out to get her. And in a wry play on words, ex-hippie S. claims she never trusts anyone under 30.
It's true - we're getting grumpy in our old age. Interestingly, it feels good in a liberating sort of way. It's as if a veil has been lifted and I'm seeing things as they really are.
True there's something lost when we no longer see the world through rose coloured glasses but I can't help but think there's also something to be gained. If nothing else, I won't be going to any Amway meetings anytime soon.
