The Best Kept Secret Blog - Not Since The Days Of Starsky And Hutch

What do I think of middle-aged women who develop crushes on the same Hollywood heartthrobs that their 'tween and teen daughters are lusting over?

It's pathetic, absolutely pathetic.

Why just last spring on American Idol I couldn't get over all the Cougars for Cook posters being waved about in the audience by 40- and 50-year-old women hoping to catch contestant David Cook's eye. I mean come on! What were they thinking?

They should have been sitting quietly by while their daughter's did all the screaming. Women their age should know by now that the best way to seduce cougar bait like David Cook is to wait quietly at the stage door wearing nothing but a trench coat and a smile.

I'm afraid this same age-inappropriate behaviour is about to explode again as mothers everywhere take their daughters to see Twilight, the new vampire flick starring Robert Pattinson as the dreamy Edward Cullen.

I'll admit there's a part of me that understands the appeal. The book the movie's based on reads like a Harlequin Romance for 13-year old's. When I paged through my daughter's well-worn copy a few weeks ago I did wonder why we didn't have books like this when we were in puberty instead of being stuck with Nancy Drew and her limp-wristed boyfriend Ned Nickerson.

And having seen the movie five times I will warn you that watching the tall, muscled Mr. Pattinson may stir feelings you haven't experienced since watching Paul Michael Glaser in Starsky and Hutch.

But real women do not get crushes on the same screen idols that their daughter's do. That's just creepy.

It's fine for my daughter and her friends to have a little thing for Robert Pattinson, a.k.a. Edward. I don't discourage it.

I let them go on the fan websites and bookmark YouTube videos of the handsome and hot Mr. Pattinson. And yes, I may revisit these favourites after my daughter has gone to bed, sometimes lingering for an hour or more over Mr. Pattinson's profile. I'm just being a good parent, diligent about cyber-safety for my child.

If the truth be told, I get a little chuckle out of listening to my daughter opine about what it would be like if she were asked on a date by Bobby - I mean Robert Pattinson. Her daydreams are filled with rides in his fancy car, holding hands and a chaste kiss goodnight.

I keep my mouth shut and let her dream knowing full well it will never happen. Why would a guy like that want to go out with a little girl like her when he could go out with a woman my age who knows Tantric sex?

What? Well, no, I don't exactly know all the details of how Tantric sex works but at least I've heard of it. And I'd be sure to Google it before the big night out.

That's all I'm going to say on the matter. It's just plain wrong for women our age to lust after Hollywood hotties half our age. We've got better things to do.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must get back to setting up my new blog, Panthers for Pattinson.